oh fuck, i missed blogging so much. even if i were to update this shit now, i dont know where to start. and, no human is gonna read this cos it has been in non-existence since forever. but to make myself feel better, im doing this right now. how's life? well, i cant say so generally, so i'll mention it separately.
school; lack of motivation. everyone in class is so science-fied. i feel dumb in the class. dreading attending school every single morning.
friends; i just dont have enough time for everyone. been really really long since i hung out with the girls. i miss them, really do. the only reason why im with sanjay all the time is cos we study at the same place. we travel tgt, we live nearby and he can come by to my house anytime, any day. plus right now, he's the only one that i can talk to, about anything and everything.
love; not good. not good at all. it started very well. but maybe, just maybe, he's bored of me. everything and everyone else seem more important to him. it's been so long since we went out, alone, as a couple. even after talking to him about all this, i dont see any effort being put it. he only speaks, but there's no fucking action. im losing my patience. how long am i supposed to hold on? this feeling is fucking fucked up i swear. even yesterday, i skipped my CE activity cos he said he was coming over to school. i badly wanted to spend time with him. first thing that annoyed me, when he reached, he called my friend instead of calling me. second, when he saw me, he didnt even acknowledge me. when i looked at him, he just stared blankly. third, he was supposed to come to yishun but he said he doesnt want to cos he was tired. in the end, he followed my friend all the way to cck to accompany her and then went back home. so basically, fuck you, and fuck your 'love'. thanks.
family; not talking about dad here. brothers are still okay. annoying at times. but better than before, somehow. mom, the only human that im depending on. she trusts me. i've alot more freedom than before. but that's what hurts now. cos i've ruined her trust. as in, she doesnt know alot of things about me. the feeling of betraying her trust is just too fucked up. and right now, life's just a mess.
